Glasses.

I've been wearing glasses since I was seven. I am now twenty-two. When you wear something for so long, it becomes a part of who you are. No one knows me without my glasses, not even myself. In fact, seeing myself without glasses makes me really uncomfortable. My vision is awful and without my glasses, I live in a world of panic. So many times growing up I would fall asleep with my glasses on and when I woke up, they weren't anywhere to be found as I moved them around in my sleep. Those few minutes of not being able to find my glasses are pure panic and chaos. I don't enjoy it and as an adult now, I make more of an effort to put them on my bedside table before I drift off to sleep but old habits die hard and 7/10 times I fail at doing the previous task. I can remember my first pair of glasses. They were oval shaped and the metal frame was a navy blue. As I'm writing this, i'm picturing seven year old me getting her picture taken for school, smiling and looking so dorky. I wish I had this picture here with me and not at my parent's house. Over the years I had many different styles of glasses. From frameless (a terrible idea, I broke them way too many times) to thick black frames from Ray-bans. I've been wearing Ray-bans since I was about fifteen. My current pair are called the club master and I have them in the black tortoise color. They are my most favorite pair of glasses i've ever worn but lately i've been thinking about how it's time to ditch them. I've never liked contacts (the thought of something sitting on my eye gives me anxiety) but there's been too many experiences i've missed out on because of my glasses. In 2015 I was in Fiji for a week. I was there during the migratory period of the manta rays. We were told at any given time to be ready to hop on the boat and set out to see to swim amongst them. It was six a.m. one morning when all of a sudden you hear someone beating a drum and yelling "manta rays! manta rays!". I of course jump out of bed running to get my snorkeling gear and hop on the boat. I didn't realize it until the boat was away from shore that I forgot to put on my contacts. My heart broke as I knew I would not be seeing the manta rays as going underwater, especially in the ocean, without any sort of way to see would be a very unwise decision. There was no time to turn around so I could put my contacts on. I remember being so angry at myself but waking up to put contacts on had never been my routine. It was always wake up and put the glasses on. I remember sitting on the boat while everyone was in the water below me seeing the manta rays for themselves while I was trying so very hard to not cry. It's a huge pain in the ass missing out on experiences because you can't fucking see without assistance from glasses or contacts. I told myself I'd get Lasik in 2020, when i'm twenty-five. If you get that pun, I love you. Doctors say your vision starts to stabilize around age twenty-five but maybe i'll get Lasik later this year when I turn 23....if I can get my coins right.

It's time to be the real me, the me doesn't hide behind a pair of glasses.